let’s consider this the first in what may end up being a series of shorts based on prompts from this most magical book. all of these entries will be unedited, fresh in all their imperfect glory from brain to page. of course you have no way to verify this, and i have no way to prove it, so you’ll just have to trust me.

Hera writes a letter to Zeus regarding the time he has not been spending around the house.

Dear Husband:

Greetings in your name, or however you wish to be entreated these days. The Muses could offer no assistance in this matter; you may wish to speak to them about their workload.

I write this note not as an appeal for your attention. I’m far too proud and frankly, my dear, you’re not worth it. I write on behalf of your children-or I should say our children, for who on Earth or Olympus knows how many others you have sired since last we spoke-are suffering for lack of a father’s care. Ares will insist on picking fights, and Eris only fans the flames. The house is in utter chaos… even dear Hestia has been round and can do nothing worthwhile to help.  Our sister joins me in this plea for home peace, if that gives you any idea of the severity of our domestic life.

I don’t much care that you can’t seem to keep your lightning bolts to yourself, but I do care that you’ve left the burden of these titanic troubles on my altar.

Also, we’re out of milk.

With love, I suppose,


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